How do I justify a mansplainer/misogynist?











up vote
1
down vote

favorite












I have a male character who is coming across as patronizing and mansplain-y.



He has several scenes where he tells a (different) female protagonist how she should behave, or assumes she doesn't understand and corrects her. I've been using him as a pretext for exposition, to explain when the protagonists are wrong. I didn't realize it's just about all he does.



In my original draft he was the responsible one, kind of a "dad" who disapproves of their recklessness.




  1. He assumes one is sexually naive and warns her (she isn't naive).

  2. He tells the second to stop dressing provocatively around his men (she has been).

  3. He bawls out a third for taking dangerous risks (she has been).

  4. He is overprotective (again)

  5. He casts doubt on the provocative woman's trustworthiness (his suspicions are later justified).


When I examined him as character, I realized I've been using him to say what the reader needs to know, but the protagonists don't want to hear.




"Pull yourself together because [_e_x_p_o_s_i_t_i_o_n_]!"



"Don't trust that woman because [_e_x_p_o_s_i_t_i_o_n_]."




Coincidentally, his advice is perfect and his character is flat.



I want to flip the character, and use the patronizing pattern to discount his testimony against the provocative woman. He has a strong distrust of her from the start, ultimately admits sexual attraction.



He can't be a frothing at the mouth villain or commit overt sabotage – he is still a good guy, but I need to sew seeds of doubt in the reader and stir conflict within the team.



How do I get the reader to see him as misogynist, so sympathy shifts to the woman? Is there a point of no return? Can he regain reader trust once he is vindicated?










share|improve this question




















  • 2




    Is this character a perfect product of his society (say, your story is set in XIX century), or he is unacceptably old-fashioned?
    – Alexander
    3 hours ago












  • @Alexander I need him to remain credible. I think his issue is that SOME women need to be protected while SOME women are just bad (one woman in particular who happens to be the sexy one). He is not a crusader making speeches against women, but he has a bias against this woman he feels is too sexy and untrustworthy.
    – wetcircuit
    2 hours ago















up vote
1
down vote

favorite












I have a male character who is coming across as patronizing and mansplain-y.



He has several scenes where he tells a (different) female protagonist how she should behave, or assumes she doesn't understand and corrects her. I've been using him as a pretext for exposition, to explain when the protagonists are wrong. I didn't realize it's just about all he does.



In my original draft he was the responsible one, kind of a "dad" who disapproves of their recklessness.




  1. He assumes one is sexually naive and warns her (she isn't naive).

  2. He tells the second to stop dressing provocatively around his men (she has been).

  3. He bawls out a third for taking dangerous risks (she has been).

  4. He is overprotective (again)

  5. He casts doubt on the provocative woman's trustworthiness (his suspicions are later justified).


When I examined him as character, I realized I've been using him to say what the reader needs to know, but the protagonists don't want to hear.




"Pull yourself together because [_e_x_p_o_s_i_t_i_o_n_]!"



"Don't trust that woman because [_e_x_p_o_s_i_t_i_o_n_]."




Coincidentally, his advice is perfect and his character is flat.



I want to flip the character, and use the patronizing pattern to discount his testimony against the provocative woman. He has a strong distrust of her from the start, ultimately admits sexual attraction.



He can't be a frothing at the mouth villain or commit overt sabotage – he is still a good guy, but I need to sew seeds of doubt in the reader and stir conflict within the team.



How do I get the reader to see him as misogynist, so sympathy shifts to the woman? Is there a point of no return? Can he regain reader trust once he is vindicated?










share|improve this question




















  • 2




    Is this character a perfect product of his society (say, your story is set in XIX century), or he is unacceptably old-fashioned?
    – Alexander
    3 hours ago












  • @Alexander I need him to remain credible. I think his issue is that SOME women need to be protected while SOME women are just bad (one woman in particular who happens to be the sexy one). He is not a crusader making speeches against women, but he has a bias against this woman he feels is too sexy and untrustworthy.
    – wetcircuit
    2 hours ago













up vote
1
down vote

favorite









up vote
1
down vote

favorite











I have a male character who is coming across as patronizing and mansplain-y.



He has several scenes where he tells a (different) female protagonist how she should behave, or assumes she doesn't understand and corrects her. I've been using him as a pretext for exposition, to explain when the protagonists are wrong. I didn't realize it's just about all he does.



In my original draft he was the responsible one, kind of a "dad" who disapproves of their recklessness.




  1. He assumes one is sexually naive and warns her (she isn't naive).

  2. He tells the second to stop dressing provocatively around his men (she has been).

  3. He bawls out a third for taking dangerous risks (she has been).

  4. He is overprotective (again)

  5. He casts doubt on the provocative woman's trustworthiness (his suspicions are later justified).


When I examined him as character, I realized I've been using him to say what the reader needs to know, but the protagonists don't want to hear.




"Pull yourself together because [_e_x_p_o_s_i_t_i_o_n_]!"



"Don't trust that woman because [_e_x_p_o_s_i_t_i_o_n_]."




Coincidentally, his advice is perfect and his character is flat.



I want to flip the character, and use the patronizing pattern to discount his testimony against the provocative woman. He has a strong distrust of her from the start, ultimately admits sexual attraction.



He can't be a frothing at the mouth villain or commit overt sabotage – he is still a good guy, but I need to sew seeds of doubt in the reader and stir conflict within the team.



How do I get the reader to see him as misogynist, so sympathy shifts to the woman? Is there a point of no return? Can he regain reader trust once he is vindicated?










share|improve this question















I have a male character who is coming across as patronizing and mansplain-y.



He has several scenes where he tells a (different) female protagonist how she should behave, or assumes she doesn't understand and corrects her. I've been using him as a pretext for exposition, to explain when the protagonists are wrong. I didn't realize it's just about all he does.



In my original draft he was the responsible one, kind of a "dad" who disapproves of their recklessness.




  1. He assumes one is sexually naive and warns her (she isn't naive).

  2. He tells the second to stop dressing provocatively around his men (she has been).

  3. He bawls out a third for taking dangerous risks (she has been).

  4. He is overprotective (again)

  5. He casts doubt on the provocative woman's trustworthiness (his suspicions are later justified).


When I examined him as character, I realized I've been using him to say what the reader needs to know, but the protagonists don't want to hear.




"Pull yourself together because [_e_x_p_o_s_i_t_i_o_n_]!"



"Don't trust that woman because [_e_x_p_o_s_i_t_i_o_n_]."




Coincidentally, his advice is perfect and his character is flat.



I want to flip the character, and use the patronizing pattern to discount his testimony against the provocative woman. He has a strong distrust of her from the start, ultimately admits sexual attraction.



He can't be a frothing at the mouth villain or commit overt sabotage – he is still a good guy, but I need to sew seeds of doubt in the reader and stir conflict within the team.



How do I get the reader to see him as misogynist, so sympathy shifts to the woman? Is there a point of no return? Can he regain reader trust once he is vindicated?







characters






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 2 hours ago

























asked 4 hours ago









wetcircuit

7,1511338




7,1511338








  • 2




    Is this character a perfect product of his society (say, your story is set in XIX century), or he is unacceptably old-fashioned?
    – Alexander
    3 hours ago












  • @Alexander I need him to remain credible. I think his issue is that SOME women need to be protected while SOME women are just bad (one woman in particular who happens to be the sexy one). He is not a crusader making speeches against women, but he has a bias against this woman he feels is too sexy and untrustworthy.
    – wetcircuit
    2 hours ago














  • 2




    Is this character a perfect product of his society (say, your story is set in XIX century), or he is unacceptably old-fashioned?
    – Alexander
    3 hours ago












  • @Alexander I need him to remain credible. I think his issue is that SOME women need to be protected while SOME women are just bad (one woman in particular who happens to be the sexy one). He is not a crusader making speeches against women, but he has a bias against this woman he feels is too sexy and untrustworthy.
    – wetcircuit
    2 hours ago








2




2




Is this character a perfect product of his society (say, your story is set in XIX century), or he is unacceptably old-fashioned?
– Alexander
3 hours ago






Is this character a perfect product of his society (say, your story is set in XIX century), or he is unacceptably old-fashioned?
– Alexander
3 hours ago














@Alexander I need him to remain credible. I think his issue is that SOME women need to be protected while SOME women are just bad (one woman in particular who happens to be the sexy one). He is not a crusader making speeches against women, but he has a bias against this woman he feels is too sexy and untrustworthy.
– wetcircuit
2 hours ago




@Alexander I need him to remain credible. I think his issue is that SOME women need to be protected while SOME women are just bad (one woman in particular who happens to be the sexy one). He is not a crusader making speeches against women, but he has a bias against this woman he feels is too sexy and untrustworthy.
– wetcircuit
2 hours ago










1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
2
down vote













A good way of having a genuinely misogynistic person who also has a spark of good despite those beliefs is the 'protective' misogynist; the one who stops women doing things of their own volition out of a protective instinct.



Oh, they're definitely undermining women and being a sexist idiot, but at the same time, it's coming from a place that ultimately wants to help women (even if that help is utterly unwarranted/unnecessary).



This way, he can come off as well-meaning, but patronising, and ultimately still wrong.






share|improve this answer





















    Your Answer








    StackExchange.ready(function() {
    var channelOptions = {
    tags: "".split(" "),
    id: "166"
    };
    initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);

    StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function() {
    // Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
    if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled) {
    StackExchange.using("snippets", function() {
    createEditor();
    });
    }
    else {
    createEditor();
    }
    });

    function createEditor() {
    StackExchange.prepareEditor({
    heartbeatType: 'answer',
    convertImagesToLinks: false,
    noModals: true,
    showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
    reputationToPostImages: null,
    bindNavPrevention: true,
    postfix: "",
    imageUploader: {
    brandingHtml: "Powered by u003ca class="icon-imgur-white" href="https://imgur.com/"u003eu003c/au003e",
    contentPolicyHtml: "User contributions licensed under u003ca href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/"u003ecc by-sa 3.0 with attribution requiredu003c/au003e u003ca href="https://stackoverflow.com/legal/content-policy"u003e(content policy)u003c/au003e",
    allowUrls: true
    },
    noCode: true, onDemand: true,
    discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
    ,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
    });


    }
    });














    draft saved

    draft discarded


















    StackExchange.ready(
    function () {
    StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fwriting.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f40484%2fhow-do-i-justify-a-mansplainer-misogynist%23new-answer', 'question_page');
    }
    );

    Post as a guest















    Required, but never shown

























    1 Answer
    1






    active

    oldest

    votes








    1 Answer
    1






    active

    oldest

    votes









    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes








    up vote
    2
    down vote













    A good way of having a genuinely misogynistic person who also has a spark of good despite those beliefs is the 'protective' misogynist; the one who stops women doing things of their own volition out of a protective instinct.



    Oh, they're definitely undermining women and being a sexist idiot, but at the same time, it's coming from a place that ultimately wants to help women (even if that help is utterly unwarranted/unnecessary).



    This way, he can come off as well-meaning, but patronising, and ultimately still wrong.






    share|improve this answer

























      up vote
      2
      down vote













      A good way of having a genuinely misogynistic person who also has a spark of good despite those beliefs is the 'protective' misogynist; the one who stops women doing things of their own volition out of a protective instinct.



      Oh, they're definitely undermining women and being a sexist idiot, but at the same time, it's coming from a place that ultimately wants to help women (even if that help is utterly unwarranted/unnecessary).



      This way, he can come off as well-meaning, but patronising, and ultimately still wrong.






      share|improve this answer























        up vote
        2
        down vote










        up vote
        2
        down vote









        A good way of having a genuinely misogynistic person who also has a spark of good despite those beliefs is the 'protective' misogynist; the one who stops women doing things of their own volition out of a protective instinct.



        Oh, they're definitely undermining women and being a sexist idiot, but at the same time, it's coming from a place that ultimately wants to help women (even if that help is utterly unwarranted/unnecessary).



        This way, he can come off as well-meaning, but patronising, and ultimately still wrong.






        share|improve this answer












        A good way of having a genuinely misogynistic person who also has a spark of good despite those beliefs is the 'protective' misogynist; the one who stops women doing things of their own volition out of a protective instinct.



        Oh, they're definitely undermining women and being a sexist idiot, but at the same time, it's coming from a place that ultimately wants to help women (even if that help is utterly unwarranted/unnecessary).



        This way, he can come off as well-meaning, but patronising, and ultimately still wrong.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered 2 hours ago









        Matthew Dave

        5,427736




        5,427736






























            draft saved

            draft discarded




















































            Thanks for contributing an answer to Writing Stack Exchange!


            • Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!

            But avoid



            • Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.

            • Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.


            To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.





            Some of your past answers have not been well-received, and you're in danger of being blocked from answering.


            Please pay close attention to the following guidance:


            • Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!

            But avoid



            • Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.

            • Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.


            To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.




            draft saved


            draft discarded














            StackExchange.ready(
            function () {
            StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fwriting.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f40484%2fhow-do-i-justify-a-mansplainer-misogynist%23new-answer', 'question_page');
            }
            );

            Post as a guest















            Required, but never shown





















































            Required, but never shown














            Required, but never shown












            Required, but never shown







            Required, but never shown

































            Required, but never shown














            Required, but never shown












            Required, but never shown







            Required, but never shown







            Popular posts from this blog

            A CLEAN and SIMPLE way to add appendices to Table of Contents and bookmarks

            Calculate evaluation metrics using cross_val_predict sklearn

            Insert data from modal to MySQL (multiple modal on website)