Is using an 'empty' metaphor considered bad style?
I just had this sentence off my head:
A crown of fire spread through the country consuming everything on its
way.
What I mean by empty metaphor is a metaphor that doesn't really have any meaning or even purpose. The same sentence could be replaced with the following:
A circle of fire spread through the country consuming everything on
its way.
Also, I don't even think crown would make sense even if the "fire" was spread by an evil king. What do you think?
creative-writing style metaphor
edited 1 hour ago
linksassin
456213
asked 2 hours ago
repomonsterrepomonster
1,083423
|
show 2 more comments
I just had this sentence off my head:
A crown of fire spread through the country consuming everything on its
way.
What I mean by empty metaphor is a metaphor that doesn't really have any meaning or even purpose. The same sentence could be replaced with the following:
A circle of fire spread through the country consuming everything on
its way.
Also, I don't even think crown would make sense even if the "fire" was spread by an evil king. What do you think?
creative-writing style metaphor
edited 1 hour ago
linksassin
456213
asked 2 hours ago
repomonsterrepomonster
1,083423
2
just a side note, I consider the sequel to Eragon, Eldest, nearly unreadable with how many pointless metaphors and similes it had. One or two metaphors that don't hit the mark are fine, just don't flood your story with them
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
Could you give an example just out of curiosity?
– repomonster
1 hour ago
2
One example that I remember being particularly pointless was 'his fingers were as numb as frozen wood'
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
2
do inanimate objects become numb though? I think not, making it a poor analogy and the frozen detail moot
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
1
Just about the phrase "crown of fire", there is actually a type of bushfire called a "crown fire". It's a fire that spreads through the treetops, usually with incredible speed. So at first your metaphor just made me think that it was literally a crown fire, which seems not to be what you're aiming for. So maybe "circle of fire" would be better in this case, anyway
– s.anne.w
20 mins ago
|
show 2 more comments
I just had this sentence off my head:
A crown of fire spread through the country consuming everything on its
way.
What I mean by empty metaphor is a metaphor that doesn't really have any meaning or even purpose. The same sentence could be replaced with the following:
A circle of fire spread through the country consuming everything on
its way.
Also, I don't even think crown would make sense even if the "fire" was spread by an evil king. What do you think?
creative-writing style metaphor
edited 1 hour ago
linksassin
456213
asked 2 hours ago
repomonsterrepomonster
1,083423
I just had this sentence off my head:
A crown of fire spread through the country consuming everything on its
way.
What I mean by empty metaphor is a metaphor that doesn't really have any meaning or even purpose. The same sentence could be replaced with the following:
A circle of fire spread through the country consuming everything on
its way.
Also, I don't even think crown would make sense even if the "fire" was spread by an evil king. What do you think?
creative-writing style metaphor
creative-writing style metaphor
edited 1 hour ago
linksassin
456213
asked 2 hours ago
repomonsterrepomonster
1,083423
edited 1 hour ago
linksassin
456213
asked 2 hours ago
repomonsterrepomonster
1,083423
edited 1 hour ago
linksassin
456213
edited 1 hour ago
linksassin
456213
edited 1 hour ago
linksassin
456213
456213
asked 2 hours ago
repomonsterrepomonster
1,083423
asked 2 hours ago
repomonsterrepomonster
1,083423
asked 2 hours ago
repomonsterrepomonster
1,083423
1,083423
2
just a side note, I consider the sequel to Eragon, Eldest, nearly unreadable with how many pointless metaphors and similes it had. One or two metaphors that don't hit the mark are fine, just don't flood your story with them
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
Could you give an example just out of curiosity?
– repomonster
1 hour ago
2
One example that I remember being particularly pointless was 'his fingers were as numb as frozen wood'
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
2
do inanimate objects become numb though? I think not, making it a poor analogy and the frozen detail moot
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
1
Just about the phrase "crown of fire", there is actually a type of bushfire called a "crown fire". It's a fire that spreads through the treetops, usually with incredible speed. So at first your metaphor just made me think that it was literally a crown fire, which seems not to be what you're aiming for. So maybe "circle of fire" would be better in this case, anyway
– s.anne.w
20 mins ago
|
show 2 more comments
2
just a side note, I consider the sequel to Eragon, Eldest, nearly unreadable with how many pointless metaphors and similes it had. One or two metaphors that don't hit the mark are fine, just don't flood your story with them
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
Could you give an example just out of curiosity?
– repomonster
1 hour ago
2
One example that I remember being particularly pointless was 'his fingers were as numb as frozen wood'
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
2
do inanimate objects become numb though? I think not, making it a poor analogy and the frozen detail moot
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
1
Just about the phrase "crown of fire", there is actually a type of bushfire called a "crown fire". It's a fire that spreads through the treetops, usually with incredible speed. So at first your metaphor just made me think that it was literally a crown fire, which seems not to be what you're aiming for. So maybe "circle of fire" would be better in this case, anyway
– s.anne.w
20 mins ago
2
2
just a side note, I consider the sequel to Eragon, Eldest, nearly unreadable with how many pointless metaphors and similes it had. One or two metaphors that don't hit the mark are fine, just don't flood your story with them
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
just a side note, I consider the sequel to Eragon, Eldest, nearly unreadable with how many pointless metaphors and similes it had. One or two metaphors that don't hit the mark are fine, just don't flood your story with them
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
Could you give an example just out of curiosity?
– repomonster
1 hour ago
Could you give an example just out of curiosity?
– repomonster
1 hour ago
2
2
One example that I remember being particularly pointless was 'his fingers were as numb as frozen wood'
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
One example that I remember being particularly pointless was 'his fingers were as numb as frozen wood'
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
2
2
do inanimate objects become numb though? I think not, making it a poor analogy and the frozen detail moot
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
do inanimate objects become numb though? I think not, making it a poor analogy and the frozen detail moot
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
1
1
Just about the phrase "crown of fire", there is actually a type of bushfire called a "crown fire". It's a fire that spreads through the treetops, usually with incredible speed. So at first your metaphor just made me think that it was literally a crown fire, which seems not to be what you're aiming for. So maybe "circle of fire" would be better in this case, anyway
– s.anne.w
20 mins ago
Just about the phrase "crown of fire", there is actually a type of bushfire called a "crown fire". It's a fire that spreads through the treetops, usually with incredible speed. So at first your metaphor just made me think that it was literally a crown fire, which seems not to be what you're aiming for. So maybe "circle of fire" would be better in this case, anyway
– s.anne.w
20 mins ago
|
show 2 more comments
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
It isn't exactly empty; a spreading circle of fire might look like a growing crown; with high fire on the perimeter and no fire in the middle. (But ending with "on its way" throws me, it should be "consuming everything in its way").
That said, aside from your example, if your metaphor is obscure and has no obvious application to what is being described, then it breaks the flow of reading because the reader struggles to reconcile this. That would be bad style.
answered 2 hours ago
AmadeusAmadeus
51.8k466166
add a comment |
This isn't bad style
"A crown of fire" is a an evocative statement full of imagery and connotations. Instantly, I can imagine the burning ring of flame, progressing outward and reaching up to the sky. The sentence may not make literal sense but certainly is a good description.
In contrast "a circle of fire" seems somewhat lame. It describes the physical shape of the fire (potentially 'ring' would be better) but it does little to describe the appearance of the flame.
More generally there isn't really such a thing as "bad style" just different style. Whether this is good or not depends on if it fits into the style and structure of the rest of your work. A single empty metaphor in an otherwise literal piece will feel out of place. But if your work is full of this type of description then it will be fine.
answered 2 hours ago
linksassinlinksassin
456213
add a comment |
It's an "Analogy"
Similes and metaphors are types of analogy. It's still a metaphor because of the sentence structure (it's not a simile).
When the comparison is really extreme it's called an analogy. The brain has to "reach out" to synaptic connections find the cross-reference how these things are alike, and eventually offers up shapes and colors, like your fire-crown.
You have an instinct that is telling you these words are associated.
It's a good instinct. Keep listening!
It is not "empty", it is loaded with vivid imagery, but also other (surreptitious?) cross-referenced associations like concentration of power, danger, and eminent domain. My brain was delighted. Thank you!
Compare to this example from the analogy link:
Night Clouds (By Amy Lowell)
The white mares of the moon rush along the sky
Beating their golden hoofs upon the glass Heavens.
Which is pretty but makes your head hurt if you try to think about it too literally.
answered 1 hour ago
wetcircuitwetcircuit
11.2k22255
add a comment |
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3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
It isn't exactly empty; a spreading circle of fire might look like a growing crown; with high fire on the perimeter and no fire in the middle. (But ending with "on its way" throws me, it should be "consuming everything in its way").
That said, aside from your example, if your metaphor is obscure and has no obvious application to what is being described, then it breaks the flow of reading because the reader struggles to reconcile this. That would be bad style.
answered 2 hours ago
AmadeusAmadeus
51.8k466166
add a comment |
It isn't exactly empty; a spreading circle of fire might look like a growing crown; with high fire on the perimeter and no fire in the middle. (But ending with "on its way" throws me, it should be "consuming everything in its way").
That said, aside from your example, if your metaphor is obscure and has no obvious application to what is being described, then it breaks the flow of reading because the reader struggles to reconcile this. That would be bad style.
answered 2 hours ago
AmadeusAmadeus
51.8k466166
add a comment |
It isn't exactly empty; a spreading circle of fire might look like a growing crown; with high fire on the perimeter and no fire in the middle. (But ending with "on its way" throws me, it should be "consuming everything in its way").
That said, aside from your example, if your metaphor is obscure and has no obvious application to what is being described, then it breaks the flow of reading because the reader struggles to reconcile this. That would be bad style.
answered 2 hours ago
AmadeusAmadeus
51.8k466166
It isn't exactly empty; a spreading circle of fire might look like a growing crown; with high fire on the perimeter and no fire in the middle. (But ending with "on its way" throws me, it should be "consuming everything in its way").
That said, aside from your example, if your metaphor is obscure and has no obvious application to what is being described, then it breaks the flow of reading because the reader struggles to reconcile this. That would be bad style.
answered 2 hours ago
AmadeusAmadeus
51.8k466166
answered 2 hours ago
AmadeusAmadeus
51.8k466166
answered 2 hours ago
AmadeusAmadeus
51.8k466166
answered 2 hours ago
AmadeusAmadeus
51.8k466166
51.8k466166
add a comment |
add a comment |
This isn't bad style
"A crown of fire" is a an evocative statement full of imagery and connotations. Instantly, I can imagine the burning ring of flame, progressing outward and reaching up to the sky. The sentence may not make literal sense but certainly is a good description.
In contrast "a circle of fire" seems somewhat lame. It describes the physical shape of the fire (potentially 'ring' would be better) but it does little to describe the appearance of the flame.
More generally there isn't really such a thing as "bad style" just different style. Whether this is good or not depends on if it fits into the style and structure of the rest of your work. A single empty metaphor in an otherwise literal piece will feel out of place. But if your work is full of this type of description then it will be fine.
answered 2 hours ago
linksassinlinksassin
456213
add a comment |
This isn't bad style
"A crown of fire" is a an evocative statement full of imagery and connotations. Instantly, I can imagine the burning ring of flame, progressing outward and reaching up to the sky. The sentence may not make literal sense but certainly is a good description.
In contrast "a circle of fire" seems somewhat lame. It describes the physical shape of the fire (potentially 'ring' would be better) but it does little to describe the appearance of the flame.
More generally there isn't really such a thing as "bad style" just different style. Whether this is good or not depends on if it fits into the style and structure of the rest of your work. A single empty metaphor in an otherwise literal piece will feel out of place. But if your work is full of this type of description then it will be fine.
answered 2 hours ago
linksassinlinksassin
456213
add a comment |
This isn't bad style
"A crown of fire" is a an evocative statement full of imagery and connotations. Instantly, I can imagine the burning ring of flame, progressing outward and reaching up to the sky. The sentence may not make literal sense but certainly is a good description.
In contrast "a circle of fire" seems somewhat lame. It describes the physical shape of the fire (potentially 'ring' would be better) but it does little to describe the appearance of the flame.
More generally there isn't really such a thing as "bad style" just different style. Whether this is good or not depends on if it fits into the style and structure of the rest of your work. A single empty metaphor in an otherwise literal piece will feel out of place. But if your work is full of this type of description then it will be fine.
answered 2 hours ago
linksassinlinksassin
456213
This isn't bad style
"A crown of fire" is a an evocative statement full of imagery and connotations. Instantly, I can imagine the burning ring of flame, progressing outward and reaching up to the sky. The sentence may not make literal sense but certainly is a good description.
In contrast "a circle of fire" seems somewhat lame. It describes the physical shape of the fire (potentially 'ring' would be better) but it does little to describe the appearance of the flame.
More generally there isn't really such a thing as "bad style" just different style. Whether this is good or not depends on if it fits into the style and structure of the rest of your work. A single empty metaphor in an otherwise literal piece will feel out of place. But if your work is full of this type of description then it will be fine.
answered 2 hours ago
linksassinlinksassin
456213
answered 2 hours ago
linksassinlinksassin
456213
answered 2 hours ago
linksassinlinksassin
456213
answered 2 hours ago
linksassinlinksassin
456213
456213
add a comment |
add a comment |
It's an "Analogy"
Similes and metaphors are types of analogy. It's still a metaphor because of the sentence structure (it's not a simile).
When the comparison is really extreme it's called an analogy. The brain has to "reach out" to synaptic connections find the cross-reference how these things are alike, and eventually offers up shapes and colors, like your fire-crown.
You have an instinct that is telling you these words are associated.
It's a good instinct. Keep listening!
It is not "empty", it is loaded with vivid imagery, but also other (surreptitious?) cross-referenced associations like concentration of power, danger, and eminent domain. My brain was delighted. Thank you!
Compare to this example from the analogy link:
Night Clouds (By Amy Lowell)
The white mares of the moon rush along the sky
Beating their golden hoofs upon the glass Heavens.
Which is pretty but makes your head hurt if you try to think about it too literally.
answered 1 hour ago
wetcircuitwetcircuit
11.2k22255
add a comment |
It's an "Analogy"
Similes and metaphors are types of analogy. It's still a metaphor because of the sentence structure (it's not a simile).
When the comparison is really extreme it's called an analogy. The brain has to "reach out" to synaptic connections find the cross-reference how these things are alike, and eventually offers up shapes and colors, like your fire-crown.
You have an instinct that is telling you these words are associated.
It's a good instinct. Keep listening!
It is not "empty", it is loaded with vivid imagery, but also other (surreptitious?) cross-referenced associations like concentration of power, danger, and eminent domain. My brain was delighted. Thank you!
Compare to this example from the analogy link:
Night Clouds (By Amy Lowell)
The white mares of the moon rush along the sky
Beating their golden hoofs upon the glass Heavens.
Which is pretty but makes your head hurt if you try to think about it too literally.
answered 1 hour ago
wetcircuitwetcircuit
11.2k22255
add a comment |
It's an "Analogy"
Similes and metaphors are types of analogy. It's still a metaphor because of the sentence structure (it's not a simile).
When the comparison is really extreme it's called an analogy. The brain has to "reach out" to synaptic connections find the cross-reference how these things are alike, and eventually offers up shapes and colors, like your fire-crown.
You have an instinct that is telling you these words are associated.
It's a good instinct. Keep listening!
It is not "empty", it is loaded with vivid imagery, but also other (surreptitious?) cross-referenced associations like concentration of power, danger, and eminent domain. My brain was delighted. Thank you!
Compare to this example from the analogy link:
Night Clouds (By Amy Lowell)
The white mares of the moon rush along the sky
Beating their golden hoofs upon the glass Heavens.
Which is pretty but makes your head hurt if you try to think about it too literally.
answered 1 hour ago
wetcircuitwetcircuit
11.2k22255
It's an "Analogy"
Similes and metaphors are types of analogy. It's still a metaphor because of the sentence structure (it's not a simile).
When the comparison is really extreme it's called an analogy. The brain has to "reach out" to synaptic connections find the cross-reference how these things are alike, and eventually offers up shapes and colors, like your fire-crown.
You have an instinct that is telling you these words are associated.
It's a good instinct. Keep listening!
It is not "empty", it is loaded with vivid imagery, but also other (surreptitious?) cross-referenced associations like concentration of power, danger, and eminent domain. My brain was delighted. Thank you!
Compare to this example from the analogy link:
Night Clouds (By Amy Lowell)
The white mares of the moon rush along the sky
Beating their golden hoofs upon the glass Heavens.
Which is pretty but makes your head hurt if you try to think about it too literally.
answered 1 hour ago
wetcircuitwetcircuit
11.2k22255
edited 1 hour ago
answered 1 hour ago
wetcircuitwetcircuit
11.2k22255
answered 1 hour ago
wetcircuitwetcircuit
11.2k22255
answered 1 hour ago
wetcircuitwetcircuit
11.2k22255
11.2k22255
add a comment |
add a comment |
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2
just a side note, I consider the sequel to Eragon, Eldest, nearly unreadable with how many pointless metaphors and similes it had. One or two metaphors that don't hit the mark are fine, just don't flood your story with them
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
Could you give an example just out of curiosity?
– repomonster
1 hour ago
2
One example that I remember being particularly pointless was 'his fingers were as numb as frozen wood'
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
2
do inanimate objects become numb though? I think not, making it a poor analogy and the frozen detail moot
– BKlassen
1 hour ago
1
Just about the phrase "crown of fire", there is actually a type of bushfire called a "crown fire". It's a fire that spreads through the treetops, usually with incredible speed. So at first your metaphor just made me think that it was literally a crown fire, which seems not to be what you're aiming for. So maybe "circle of fire" would be better in this case, anyway
– s.anne.w
20 mins ago